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Trumpet Jokes


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How many trumpets does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. One to handle the bulb and four to tell him how much better they could've done it. 
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What's the difference between a trumpet player and the rear end of a horse?

I don't know either. 
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What's the difference between trumpet players and government bonds?

Government bonds eventually mature and earn money. 
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Why can't gorillas play trumpet?

Gorillas are too sensitive. 
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The best recording of the Haydn Trumpet Concerto is Music Minus One. 
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In an emergency a jazz trumpeter was hired to do some solos with a symphony orchestra.
Everything went fine through the first movement, when she had some really 
hair-raising solos, but in the second movement she started improvising madly 
when she wasn't supposed to play at all.

After the concert the conductor came round looking for an explanation. She said,
 "I looked in the score and it said 'tacit'-- so I took it!" 
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How many trumpet players does it take to change a light bulb?

None, because the world revolves around them! 
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What's the difference between a trumpet and a chain saw?

Vibrato, though you can minimize this difference by holding the chain saw very still. 
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What is a gentleman?

Somebody who knows how to play the trumpet, but doesn't. 
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How many trumpets does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he'll do it too loudly. 
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How do trumpet players traditionally greet eachother?

"Hi. Nice to meet you. I'm better than you." 
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How do you know when a trumpet player is at your door?

The doorbell shrikes! 
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What do trumpet players use for birth control?

Their personalities. 
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What did little Johnny's mother tell him when he said "I want to be 
a trumpet player when I grow up"?

"But Johnny, you can't do both." 
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What would a trumpet player do if he won a million dollars?

Continue to play gigs until the money ran out. 
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Why did the chicken cross the road?

To get away from the trumpet players. 
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How do you improve the aerodynamics of a trumpet player's car?

Take the Domino's Pizza sign off the roof. 
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What do you call a lead trumpet player with half a brain?

Gifted. 
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What's the first thing a trumpet player says at work?

"Would you like fries with that?" 
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How many trumpet players does it take to change a lightbulb?

Five. One to change the bulb and four to contemplate how Louis Armstrong would have done it. 
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How do you get a trumpet player to play fff?

Write mp on the part. 
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What's the difference between a free jazz trumpeter and a terrorist?

The terrorist has sympathizers. 
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Three famous trumpet players are up in an airplane. One of them says, "I'll
throw out a 100 dollar bill and make someone very happy." The one next to him says, "I'll
throw out two 50 dollar bills, and make two people very happy." The other one said,
"I'll throw five 20's out the door, and make five people happy." The pilot,
who was their conductor, said, "Why don't all three jump, and make the whole band very happy?" 
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What is the range of a trumpet player?

It depends: how strong are you, and how much do you want to hurt him? 
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How many jazz trumpeters does it take to change a light bulb?

Never mind- they can fake the changes. 
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How do you get a trumpet player to play softly?

Take away his instrument. 
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