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Why don't sax players like playing soprano?

There's no place to hide your drugs, 
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What is the difference between Kenny G and M. Ravel's Bolero?
What is the difference between Kenny G and M. Ravel's Bolero?
What is the difference between Kenny G and M. Ravel's Bolero?
What is the difference between Kenny G and M. Ravel's Bolero?
What is the difference between Kenny G and M. Ravel's Bolero?
What is the difference between Kenny G and M. Ravel's Bolero?
What is the difference between Kenny G and M. Ravel's Bolero?

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What is the difference between Kenny G and a machine gun?

The machine gun repeats only 10 times per second. 
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Kenny G gets on an elevator and says "Wow! This rocks!" 
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Why did the lead alto player play so many wrong notes?

Because he kept ignoring the key signature-- he thought it was a suggestion. 
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How many alto sax players does it take to change a lightbulb?

Five. One to do it, and four to comment on how David Sanborn would have done it. 
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How many C melody sax players can you fit into a phone booth?

All of them. 
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If lost in the woods, who do you ask for directions, an in-tune 
tenor sax player, an out-of-tune tenor sax player, or Santa Claus?

The out-of-tune tenor sax player. The other two indicate that you're hallucinating. 
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What's the difference between a lawnmower and a tenor sax?

1. Lawnmowers sound better in small ensembles.
2. You can tune a lawnmower.
3. The neighbors are upset if you borrow a lawnmower and don't return it.
4. The grip. 
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What's the difference between the creationist theory of the origin of life and a tenor sax?

The theory doesn't have as many leaks. 
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What's the difference between a bari-sax and a chain saw?

1. Vibrato.
2. The exhaust. 
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You may be a redneck saxophonist if...

...you have an old bass sax up on blocks in your front yard.
...you spell it "saxaphone."
...you think the bell of your instrument is a great place to hold a longneck during a gig.
...the gun rack in your pickup truck holds a couple of old Buesher sopranos.
...you think that Boots Randolph is the greatest Jazz musician who ever lived. 
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What do a saxophone and a baseball bat have in common?

People cheer when you hit them with a bat. 
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What are trumpets made out of?

Leftover saxophone parts. 
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You are in a room with Saddam Hussein, Adolf Hitler, and Kenny G. 
You have a gun but only two bullets. What do you do?

Shoot Kenny G twice... just to make sure. 
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What is the difference between a saxophone and a trampoline?

You take your shoes off to jump on a trampoline. 
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What were the saxophone player's grades?

Below C level. 
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What's the difference between a saxophonist and a gentleman?

A gentleman knows how to play but doesn't. 
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What is the best recording of the Creston Saxophone Sonata?

Music Minus One. 
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How do you define a perfect pitch?

Throwing an alto sax in a toilet from 20 feet with out hitting the rim 
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